Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
