After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
