Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
