Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
