he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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