he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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