It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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