i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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