so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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