Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
