So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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