I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
