So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
