Your dad touched me again.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
