I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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