Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
