The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
