I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
