Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
