i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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