they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
