Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have so many feelings about this burrito
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
