already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
