i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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