i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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