I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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