He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
