i barfeds in our rink
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
