Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
