Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
