yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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