smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
