I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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