Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
