dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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