I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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