he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
