On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
