Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
