Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
