Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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