he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
