census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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