do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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