im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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