We're like a lot better than the average bears
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
