he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
