Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
