somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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