Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
